Nightmare
by kikyophobia
Summary: Rape was something InuYasha never thought he'd endure...until that day. Oneshot


1A/N: Okay, we've all seen the "Kagome gets raped" stories a million times. They're everywhere, and I, for one, am sick of them. Well, now I'm going to do something different. I've also decided to make this a one-shot, my first. I really hope you all enjoy it. This story is very special to me, so I'm definitely going to take me time on it. Anyway, go ahead and let yourself be caught in the intense emotions you're about to witness… Hopefully…

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha or any of its beloved chapters. Still, I just love torturing them.

Note: This story contains mature material, such as rape. If this bothers you or offends you, please do not subject yourself to reading it. Thank you.

-Nightmare-

_Hands were running down the length of his back, fingers tracing gracefully and slowly over his spine as InuYasha let his eyes drift shut, his face pressed firmly against a cold, stone wall. His heart was pounding in sharp beats with each stuttered breath he took as he felt the most undesirable and unfamiliar sensations sprinting through his body. With each heated touch he received, InuYasha became unwillingly submissive to his own reactions, just letting himself feel his building emotions._

_He let out a stifled moan of disgust as his bare chest was thrust forward into the vexing darkness of the wall in front of him. He could hear someone's laughter to his back ringing clearly in his swiveling, white-furred dog-ears, the voice so sharp it could slice through steel. InuYasha let his teeth sink slowly into his bottom lip, penetrating the rosy flesh, his mind pleading for movement. He wanted to escape the lust and sick pleasure of another—the demon stroking his hands across the body that so desperately wanted to reject that very action. Still, he seemed to be overcome by a strange and intense paralysis—a poison that he was quickly beginning to fear. _

_"Let me go," he wanted to cry out, but his selfish pride had somehow rendered him mute; he couldn't subject himself to beseeching of any shape or form. His mind was set on finding his own way out of the looming situation that had caught him with its blackened hands. _

_"You feel good, half-breed," the gruff voice behind him murmured with a tone so jeering that InuYasha could hear the smirk on the man's vile face, such satisfaction causing his heart to burn with the seething flame of abhorrence for this demon-man. _

_A gasp abruptly withdrew from the back of InuYasha's throat as he felt the demon's calloused hand coil around him, placing itself on his stomach. His breathing became further labored as the hand moved downward in a slow, leisurely action that invoked a wince to quickly spread itself across his face. He could vividly picture what was about to occur with the utmost horror and trepidation. A word began coursing through his mind as he felt something stroke the flesh that he had keep hidden, and that had never felt the touch of another—violation. Even still, he couldn't stop himself from groaning—from letting himself fall into the arms of pleasure. _

_"You like that, don't you?" the demon said softly into his ear, continuing the assault. "You want this... You want me..." _

"_No," InuYasha wanted to say, but he couldn't find his voice. Silence was all he could utter._

InuYasha jerked his head up, his body engulfed in an icy sweat. His eyes darted around his surroundings as his claws began to grind into the rough bark of the branch he was perched on. He let out a soft, relieved sigh, letting his body relax against the tree trunk in a gentle repose. The night sky shone over him with its comforting light, beaded with stars that were dispersed throughout the inky blanket. Around him were trees that seemed to provoke their own limits with their height, their branches reaching well past what InuYasha had ever seen. He let his amber orbs fall downward to gaze at the fire lit by his sleeping companions, its crackling embers creating a dance that drew him in with its beauty.

He shook his head, turning his attention to the hands that were resting gently on his propped knees, his own. _'Dirty,' _he thought, moving his arms quickly to press against his deep, red haori, folding them. He grimaced, trying to evade the thoughts of his dream—his nightmare. But that was just it; it wasn't a dream. It wasn't something that the innards of his mind had conjured up to haunt him. This was a memory, a cold, daunting event that he had endured. Shivers swiftly tickled at his body as the images of that day were thrust at him, vivid and alive.

InuYasha had felt a demonic aura hovering in the atmosphere for days, never seeming to cease no matter which direction he was traveling in. He'd smelt the scent of death all around him, feeling as if he were being driven to insanity by some taunting spell. No one else knew—no one else felt anything. The aura that was causing him to be so timorous, and inducing his restlessness was seemingly nonexistent. For a week, it continued to follow him, beckoning him with its eerie presence. Giving in to the tantalizing urgency, he had gone after it, announcing to the group that he needed go alone—one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

There had been a violet, opaque smog enveloping him as he confronted the stalking demon. For the most part, he looked to be mortal, but his eyes... They were infused with a deep hardness that even the worst of humans could never maintain. With his long and flowing lavender hair and lean muscle structure, he looked to be an easy target, but InuYasha couldn't have been more wrong. As he inhaled the smog, he had quickly lost consciousness, seemingly moments later awakening far into the depths of a dark and rocky cave.

InuYasha pushed aside the thoughts, hoping to avoid reliving what happened next. _'Damn it,'_ he thought with a scowl, clenching his eyes shut. _'How could I have been so weak?' _He let his face relax, opening his eyes to glance at the ground beneath him almost longingly so. He wanted to fall—to let go of everything that had happened, and prove that he was too strong for that. But it wasn't so. He'd made himself vulnerable, and let himself fall into that situation of being touched and violated. Still, after all of that misery, he had…

"A bath," he mumbled lowly, his voice sounding jarred and defeated. "I need a bath."

(000000000000000000)

Kagome awoke to sound of rustling leaves and cracking branches, her head caught in an intense daze as she let her eyes linger closed for a moment before opening them, meeting InuYasha's timid form. He was standing a few feet away from her, looking in each direction as if he were searching for something. She narrowed her eyes slightly as she watched him nod to himself and push past the brush and bushes that walled the campsite with their evergreen leaves and prickly branches. Where was he off to so late at night? She furrowed her brows slightly. His actions over the past few days had caused her to be swallowed up by river of worry that never ceased to flow. His normal outspokenness had taken an abrupt metamorphosis into a more passive behavior that she couldn't help but fear. He began distancing himself from the rest of the group, often taking shelter in a nearby tree, letting the leaves keep his body hidden beneath them. He wouldn't even speak to anyone anymore, except for the occasional announcement of needing a bath.

_'He seems to be taking those a lot lately,' _she realized, pulling her arms out of her navy sleeping bag, slowly placing them on the top of the silky covering with a heavy sigh. Why, though? In all of the time that she had known him, InuYasha had never been keen about hygiene or personal care. Why would he start now? She let out a slight whimper of frustration, rolling on her side, and pulling the sleeping bag close to her face, finding comfort in its warmth. As she tried to let herself fall into the arms of sleep, curiosity stepped forward, grasping her with its beguiling touch. What if InuYasha _wasn't _going to take a bath? What if it was something entirely different? With those questions tugging incessantly at her mind, she sat up, glancing around the hovering darkness that surrounded the campsite, her eyes gleaming with inquisitiveness.

Kagome carefully let her hand linger on the side zipper of her sleeping bag, glancing quickly at her sleeping companions that were dispersed around the campsite. Noting the current state of slumber, she pulled the zipper down, and pushed the cloth away from her body. _'Forgive me, InuYasha,'_ her mind cried desperately as she stood up, turning in the direction he had gone. _'I just want you to be all right.' _

(0000000000000000)

InuYasha let the cool water flow gently through his haori and hakama as he stood waist deep in a clear lake, his back craned so the water would reach his upper half. His eyes glazed over as he stared at the scene around him. The mountains surrounding the lake seemed to billow gently with soft wind that blew, the willows that stood around it dancing with the breeze, carefree. He shook his head vigorously, casting his gaze downward at his own reflection, a scowl appearing on his face.

"Disgusting," he whispered in the silence of the night, his voice hitched and shaky with unadulterated hatred. He threw a hand forward, scattering his image into swirling ripples of disfigured pictures. "I can't even think about…" He trailed off, letting out a long, drawn-out breath before inhaling deeply and letting himself sink into the blackened depths of the lake. He could feel a siege of iciness overthrowing him with an immense strength, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. At that moment he only wanted to be clean again. His eyes slowly drifted open as he swayed his arms and legs to hold himself up, tiny bubbles circulating around him and nipping at his clothes. Patches of indigo and cerulean completely enveloped him in an almost looming sense. Fear—he was afraid.

InuYasha shot up to the surface, drawing in a quick gasp of air, his head and body suddenly feeling weighted as he began swimming toward the edge of the lake, watching the ripples as if enchanted by their movements. Now squatting to keep his body under the cooling water, InuYasha let himself sink to his knees, his toes scraping across the murky and muddy bottom. He pulled his arms up for a moment before slamming them back into the water, screaming in frustration as he continued to swat away his reflection, slapping it with one hand and then the other. Pride wouldn't let him cry, pride wouldn't let him run away, and for that he hated it.

"Damn it, I don't want to do this anymore!" he yelled out through gritted teeth, his voice echoing softly through the once silent hills. "I can't…"

"InuYasha..."

His head jolted up, his gaze landing on Kagome's dim form, the moonlight softly dancing on her body. He let his eyes trail up her figure until they lingered on her face, the only part of her that the night had not cast a shadow on. Her expression was clear and vibrant—fearful and worried. Tears were brimming the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment with an intense force. InuYasha shook his head, quickly turning his body away from her. "What the hell do you want?" he asked brazenly, fighting to keep his voice steady.

Kagome said nothing, simply staring at him with that same expression before throwing caution to the wind, and slowly stepping forward. With her feet scarred and scraped by the fallen branches and lurking rocks of the forest, she stepped into the lake. "InuYasha," she called again, her voice thick with anxiousness as her body continued to move forward. "What's happened to you?"

"Nothing!" InuYasha forced immediately, pulling his arms to his chest as if trying to hide himself. "I don't need you! I'm fine, all right?"

Kagome moved slowly around him, letting her hand brush the surface of the water as she did, and knelt in front of him. "You're not fine," she said with a gentleness that InuYasha couldn't even believe existed. "If you tell me, I might be able to help-"

"I'm disgusting, okay? That's the problem, and you can't help, so stay out of it!" He glowered toward the water, raising his hand to slap it, but Kagome caught his wrist, gradually bringing his hand down and placing it in hers, her fingertips softly caressing his dampened skin.

"You're not disgusting," she murmured, a deep sorrow now set on her face. "Why would you ever think that?"

InuYasha jerked his hand away from her, shooting her a defiant glare. "You don't know what I did, so shut the hell up, and leave me alone!"

Kagome didn't take her eyes off of him, maintaining a hard and prying stare. "No, I don't know what you did," she said, her voice carrying an unnatural disquiet. "But if you told me, I could understand—I could help you." Her eyes became soft. "Please?"

He turned his face away from her gaze, pulling his arms even tighter against his chest. "Don't you get it?" he asked quietly. "I don't _want _you to know. I don't _want _you to help me." He shot his eyes at her sharply, his voice growing louder. "I don't _want _you to think of me as a weakling that can't even protect himself from some horny demon!"

Kagome's heart skipped a beat. What was he getting at? Still keeping her concern on her sleeve, she leaned forward slightly, her face nearing his. A soft whimper escaped her as she noticed him flinch, backing away from her. "InuYasha… It happened a few days ago, didn't it? The day we found you…" Yes, she remembered it very well. He had been laying flat on his stomach in the middle of some dense, lush forest, his head turned slightly sideways. His clothes were ripped and seemed carelessly thrown on. But his expression… It spoke words that she didn't even think she could handle hearing. He was wide-eyed and distant, his mouth hung open in shock. She shook the images away, glancing up at him. "Tell me… I want to know what happened."

InuYasha sunk lower into the iridescent water, his eyes looking weary and defeated. "You can't guess?"

With images flashing vividly in her mind, his words ringing in her ears, she felt her heart sink, an abrupt realization slapping her across the face. She wanted to stop it, but shock still spread across her face, horror entering her mind. Her mouth became dry, and her breath caught in her throat, forming a lump that just wouldn't stop growing. She swallowed hard. "You weren't… I mean, you were…"

"Touched? Humiliated?" He nodded at his own words, stifling the distressed cry that had been pleading to leave his lips ever since that day.

"Raped," Kagome said quietly, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. She didn't know what to think—what to say. How had this happened? Why hadn't she seen it sooner? Her hand glided slowly to his face, cupping his chin and turning his head toward her. She observed his lame expression carefully, searching his eyes. "You told me that _you _did something," she whispered.

He pulled his head away, leaning back slightly so part of his lower back broke the surface of the water, tempting coldness to surge up his spine. "I was the one who made myself vulnerable. I was the one who put myself in that situation… And when it happened, even though I didn't want to, I still…" He couldn't say it—he didn't want to.

Kagome nodded understandingly, her face turning sympathetic. She placed her hands lightly on his shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "That isn't your fault," she assured him. "That would've happened to anybody." She sighed softly, staring at his vague expression. "InuYasha, please look at me."

He ignored her, his eyes growing dark. "How can you just say it isn't my fault or that it would've happened to anyone?" He grabbed her wrists, throwing her arms back at her, now staring at her in utter disbelief. "This was a man—some damn hideous demon! What happened to me should _not _have happened!" His voice became deathly quiet. "Obviously some part of me must have enjoyed it…"

Kagome moved slightly back, shaking her head. She couldn't even begin to fathom what this must be like for him It was a loss of power—a loss of dignity and honor. He wasn't able to respect himself anymore, and couldn't even endure his own reflection. "I'm so sorry," she murmured, her gaze lowering. "I just…" She glanced back up at him, a stray tear rolling idly down her cheek. "I don't want to hear you blame yourself like this. You have no reason to." She brought up a shoulder, wiping off her face. "I just can't stand to see you hurting like this… I want to help you forget…"

InuYasha stared blankly as she slowly moved towards him, her body shivering beneath the cool night wind. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around her, hoping she could find warmth in their closeness. "Help me, then," he said almost inaudibly, gazing down at her. Her stormy eyes were searching his, as if digging into his very soul, her expression alluring. He couldn't help but be drawn in as he felt himself leaning closer to her. His lips hovered over hers, his breath catching in his throat. He took a fleeting glimpse at her half-lidded eyes before capturing her in a soft kiss. With his lips moving slowly against hers, his mind became infused with teasing thoughts. He wanted to pretend she was the one that he was with that day—that she was the one who had touched him and excited him.

_Maybe that couldn't change anything, but it could still awaken him from his nightmare._

A/N: Ahem. So how was that? It was my first one-shot ever, so I really hope that it was interesting. I may continue it, if begged. Hehe. Just keep in mind that I've got three other stories that I already have a hard enough time updating. Anyway, let me know what you think. Reviews are adored.


End file.
